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Halloween Cancelled due to Clowns

In lieu of recent events across the United States of America, world leaders have declared that Halloween across the globe has been cancelled and instead moved to December, in the hopes that the recent common Clown antics will have ceased to happen in America. Clowns have been seen staring into windows, following people, threatening schools, and robbing hotels, so in order to protect the humans of the world, ...

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William, Kate to honeymoon in Nepal…April Fool!

It's neither the romantic Mediterranean isle of Sicily nor scuba divers' paradise Australia where Prince William and Kate Middleton will head for their honeymoon after tying the knot in Westminster Abbey April 29. Instead, their destination is going to be Nepal, the land of the Buddha, Mt Everest and the Gurkhas, with whom William's younger brother Prince Harry served in Afghanistan for a brief spell in 200 ...

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Last Greybeard Rhino Killed by Vegan Animal Rights Group

  As we are all aware, the rate of declining diversity of animal species on a global scale is on par with that of the mass extinctions that occurred before mankind’s reign during several distinct ice ages. This is noted by many scientists who study what is known as the geological time scale. The difference between extinction events of present? Instead of jumbo moon-sized ice sheets glaciating entire re ...

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France is to host the worlds strangest competition.

France is to host the worlds first beard growing competition.  In Marseille later this year (April 29th) hundreds of clean shaven, eager beard growers will convene..  This bizarre contest doesn't actually measure the length of beards that are already grown, but rather it will measure the speed at which competitors can grow a beard!   Not exactly the most action packed event. One eager fan commented "It ...

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Trump to make Border Wall a tourist attraction.

Following his return from Mexico City and a meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is sticking to his plan of constructing a wall on the United States southern border in an attempt to stem the flow of foreigners seeking a better life in America.   When asked about the wall and if it was discussed with the Mexican president Trump said "We did di ...

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Trump performs suspected ‘Satanic Ritual’ for last minute edge in Presidential Election

The nation was shocked and awed today as presidential front runner Donald Trump appeared in a leaked video and ripped the still-beating heart out of a small child. The act, whispered by many to be a sacrifice to the dark lords of American Politics, had been foretold by many on the Trump campaign staff for some time previously. "The signs were all there," said Joseph Mcmatton, Trump's VP of dark arts and vot ...

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Clinton To Possibly Assist Top Companies In Email Security

Top companies throughout the United States and Europe have offered to take Hilary Clinton on as a consultant for email and internet security for their firms. Pending the outcome of this year’s election, Clinton may have her choice of lucrative assignments if she does not become the leader of the free world. Hillary Clinton's new company "Paperless Securities" has received attention after the latest email sc ...

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Putin offers gift USA $5 Billion for ‘cage match’ between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton for presidential election.

In a recent press conference, President Putin offered $5 Billion USD to host a Russian style "Cage Match" between Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. The offer is a huge insult to American politics to show the mockery of the existing presidential campaigns from both candidates. Many people have concluded that the American political process is broken and Putin's offer is a 'solution' t ...

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The end of paper money is tomorrow – Banks will only trade in Bitcoin from the 1st of September 2016

The end of paper money is tomorrow - Banks will only trade in Bitcoin from the 1st of September 2016. One can only imagine the chaos such a move would make. To think that after all these thousands of years with using real money, our lives have been reduced to virtual currency. That kind of decision would be illogical and downright irresponsible. To go full throttle on this would not be taking into considera ...

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