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AARP Now Accepting Ages 40 and Up For Membership

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) announced on Tuesday that they are now accepting memberships for people ages 40 and up.  Chairman John Doe Smith said in an interview, "They're going to be members anyway, we might as well start collecting dues as soon as we can so our competitors like labor unions and such can't suck them dry before we do".  Mr. Smith also commented that a great portion of ...

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Pokemon Go player walks in front of train and still caught Pikachu

On Sunday, a man was out catching Pokemon while wandering around an abandoned train park.  Trains have not ran through this park for decades, so the man thought he was safe.  As he was approaching a track he noticed Pikachu was standing right on top of the track and he needed to catch it.  As he approached he was struck by a running train out of nowhere.  Upon authorities arriving, the body was found holdin ...

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France is to host the worlds strangest competition.

France is to host the worlds first beard growing competition.  In Marseille later this year (April 29th) hundreds of clean shaven, eager beard growers will convene..  This bizarre contest doesn't actually measure the length of beards that are already grown, but rather it will measure the speed at which competitors can grow a beard! Not exactly the most action packed event. One eager fan commented "It's actu ...

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Are Hillary’s Changing Hairstyles Covering Horn-like Growths?

A former aide, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive subject matter and a very strong non-disclosure agreement with the Hillary for President campaign, tells CNN he has twice witnessed aides frantically changing Hillary's hairstyle immediately before a stump speech. He overheard an aide saying, "we have to find a way to cover them". Three other campaign staffers stood nearby. One was o ...

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OFFICIAL: Justin Bieber Joins the Church of Scientology

Controversy Sparks After Justin Bieber Joins the Church of Scientology Justin Bieber joins the Church of Scientology secretly. The press has managed to get a hold of this controversial decision after someone closed to the artist revealed February 4th Miami, Florida – There were rumors that Justin Bieber has joined the Church of Scientology, which some believe were confirmed. Last weekend, Justin Beiber, the ...

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