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Syrian president Bashar al Assad caught hacking into White House

The Syrian dictator/president was caught hacking into the White House yesterday in what the state department is calling a serious breach of national security.  It is thought that he was looking for information that would lead to future plans for the Americans in Syria.  In a press release, Mr. Assad stated that he paid "several Russian teenagers" to perform the hack which occurred at approximately 13:41 pm ...

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The US and China are getting along again and they have Kim Jong Un to thank.

Something pretty incredible has happened. The United Nations Security Council all agreed on something, and actually got something done that means the United States, Russia, and China, found something they all had in common. Besides that they're each the best and greatest country in the world. The UN Security Council unanimously voted on tough new sanctions against North Korea. It's part of ongoing efforts t ...

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PETA returns Mitch McConnell to native habitat

After extensive partisan bickering in the senate over animal rights, PETA has been allowed to return Mitch McConnell (R-KY) to his natural habitat, where he is expected to help repopulate the native population. The reaction has been mixed across party lines, with republican senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) remarking that "I'll miss McConnel, it always made my day to see him grazing for vegetables in the white house ...

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William, Kate to honeymoon in Nepal…April Fool!

It's neither the romantic Mediterranean isle of Sicily nor scuba divers' paradise Australia where Prince William and Kate Middleton will head for their honeymoon after tying the knot in Westminster Abbey April 29. Instead, their destination is going to be Nepal, the land of the Buddha, Mt Everest and the Gurkhas, with whom William's younger brother Prince Harry served in Afghanistan for a brief spell in 200 ...

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Society “Stalled”

The country was plunged into turmoil earlier this year with the announcement that Target stores will begin to allow people to use the restroom of the gender that they most identify with. Never before has where a person chooses to take a dump become such a hot button issue. One thing that this policy pointed out is that apparently there are many Americans who believe that public bathrooms are a very sexual p ...

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Caitlyn Jenner says Donald Trump grabbed my…

Today, in a surprise turn of events, Caitlyn Jenner was another 'me too' for the numerous woman ('woman') coming forward claiming that Donald Trump inappropriately touched them. Jenner first showed support for Trump after Trump supported the controversial bathroom sharing between men and women topic.  Jenner referred to Trump as a "hero" and a "champion." Now it appears the script has flipped and Caitlyn Je ...

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Trump taxes released, revealing secret history of charitable donation and low salary

Reporters were shocked today as Donald trump stood in front of a packed boardroom and finally gave the people what they were looking for. "Today, I finally buckle to media pressure, and have made my tax returns public for every to see." A roar of applause  went up from the crowd as a slideshow appeared on a screen above the press and a large print document came into view. There was a muffled gasp, and a smi ...

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Bernie Sanders caught wearing “Make American Great Again” Hat

On Friday, September 2nd, 2016 Bernie Sanders was seen inside the Trump Tower early in the morning. Multiple security cameras recorded that the Democratic presidential candidate had talked to front desk staff, exchanged some items, then left inside the Tower. It is currently unknown as to what the failed presidential candidate was doing in the hotel; however multiple people on social media mass reported tha ...

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Trump to make Border Wall a tourist attraction.

Following his return from Mexico City and a meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is sticking to his plan of constructing a wall on the United States southern border in an attempt to stem the flow of foreigners seeking a better life in America.   When asked about the wall and if it was discussed with the Mexican president Trump said "We did di ...

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Trump performs suspected ‘Satanic Ritual’ for last minute edge in Presidential Election

The nation was shocked and awed today as presidential front runner Donald Trump appeared in a leaked video and ripped the still-beating heart out of a small child. The act, whispered by many to be a sacrifice to the dark lords of American Politics, had been foretold by many on the Trump campaign staff for some time previously. "The signs were all there," said Joseph Mcmatton, Trump's VP of dark arts and vot ...

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