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Toddlers Arrested For “Disturbing the Peace”

Chicagoans can rest safely tonight, knowing the police have control once again of our great city. Two toddlers were arrested at Helping Hands Daycare earlier today, police say they were "agressive, shouting, trying to hit the police with plastic bats, throwing sippy cups, etc." Police Chief Jason Roberts says they were able to contain the toddlers, but not without sending out the department's SWAT team. Mot ...

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Last Greybeard Rhino Killed by Vegan Animal Rights Group

  As we are all aware, the rate of declining diversity of animal species on a global scale is on par with that of the mass extinctions that occurred before mankind’s reign during several distinct ice ages. This is noted by many scientists who study what is known as the geological time scale. The difference between extinction events of present? Instead of jumbo moon-sized ice sheets glaciating entire re ...

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Local woman flabergasted that local man won’t pay for child support

Traquisha Phillips-35  told our reporter she is "flabergasted" that her husband of three years denies to pay for child support on the basis that since he lived with them her 5 year old became really attached to  Devon-40 , "He became his father, in all order, DNA doesn't play a role here, since this kid identifies himself as his son". Devon declared that since the child is not his biological son, a court of ...

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1 Dead, 3 Injured in shooting when Pokemon Go gym battle turned violent.

In a startling turn of events Thursday, a battle for control of a Pokemon Go gym in Los Angeles turned shockingly violent when one player drew a pistol and shot the other four players vying for control of the virtual gym. The shooter, whose name is being withheld, is being searched for by the police, said Officer Michelle Ortiz. One player was pronounced dead at the scene, and the other three players were t ...

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Person dressed as clown holding balloons lures children into forest.

Local residents are being warned about an individual dressed as a clown who may be preying on children.  Numerous reports in Stuart, Florida at various playgrounds have caught the interest of local law enforcement who have begun an active investigation. CCTV footage of the clown has went viral when the balloon holding clown stood in the same spot for "over 45 minutes."   Children have chased the clown ...

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