Donald Trump builds wall- Mexico ecstatic and willingly pays
January 21st 2017- Washington DC
On just his first day of office, President Donald Trump has completed his hallmark wall separating the United States and Mexico. Much to the surprise of physicists and experts in engineering, the wall sprang up overnight and was gleefully erected and paid for by the entire Mexican population. “We don’t know how it got there…it just popped up from the ground overnight” said one surprised US border resident. “The real shame there is that we voted for Hillary and were looking to escape into our Mexican neighbor’s backyard”.
Mexican President Nieto says that “after careful consideration, my fellow countrymates and I took it upon ourselves to make President Trump’s wall a reality.” President Nieto went on to further add “we trust that our Canadian counterparts are doing the same.” In reality, the making of the wall was not due to President Trump’s bombastic and clueless remarks about Mexican’s being rapists, murderers, and unskilled laborers. The Mexican government and people had been laboring on this wall for years in expectation that one day the United States would do something truly stupid and elect a moron like Trump, according to Mexican government officials. The Mexican economy and social services are simply not strong enough to absorb the sudden influx of hundreds of millions of American political refugees, cast out of their country one day after failing President Trump’s revised citizenship test.
As of press time, a massive movement of supplies, troops, and every able bodied Canadian were seen carrying massive bricks of impenetrable stone, medal, and mystical Canadian snow blocks to wall off their border with the United States. President Nieto and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau were last seen walking together, laughing, and saying “sucks to be you” to the scores of Americans who had resorted to using catapults to fruitlessly clear the wall. Deaths are expected to grow into the millions as Americans try to flee their tiny handed tyrant by any means necessary.