France is to host the worlds strangest competition.
France is to host the worlds first beard growing competition. In Marseille later this year (April 29th) hundreds of clean shaven, eager beard growers will convene.. This bizarre contest doesn’t actually measure the length of beards that are already grown, but rather it will measure the speed at which competitors can grow a beard!
Not exactly the most action packed event. One eager fan commented “It’s actually slower and less exciting than watching paint dry”. When asked why he would even come to such an event he shrugged and mumbled “it’s something different”.
The stage is an abandoned polka dance hall, and the competition will take place over the course of 2 weeks. Participants have flown in from all over the world to attend. Brazil, China, Japan, Norway, Finland, The Netherlands, you name it.
They will line up at exactly 9:23 in the morning (this is in keeping with the general attitude of the whole event of “why not?”) and recreate a ceremonial ritual from France’s distance pagan past involving a rite of manhood.
They will then sit. And sit. And sit.. actually the contest is expected to prove to be more of an endurance contest, as many are predicted to simply walk away randomly from the stage rather than actually have to be on a stage for 2 weeks.
Special toilets have been installed so that the competitors faces can remain visible while they use the bathroom – this is to ensure no cheating is involved. And they will be given meals of a roman gladiator type gruel.
We’ve spoken with a few of the competitors so far about what would motivate them to compete in such a bizarre event, and what they have done so far to train.
Jim, from Digsby Nova Scotia, Canada
“Well, I’ve been a regional moustache and beard competition champion back home and I figured I’d like to give this a try.. It’s like being a good shooter, but now trying out for the quick draw you know? I fancy I’ve got a decent chance.. I’ve grown many a beard in my day.”
When it comes to preparation, Tim Stephans from the States has been “shaving almost continuously every single day for 7 months now” because he figures it “disturbs the hair follicles” he’s adamant that it disturbs them, and will cause them to grow faster.
There are 400 competitors already registered, to win a possible grand prize of.. knowing you are able to grow the fastest beard.
That’s the prize, the knowledge that you can grow the fastest beard.
So if you have nothing to do next week, and have already seen paint dry come on down and check out the speed beard growing competition.