Outrage among US parents over new “rear-end” fad.
2017 is the year of the call back and all the A list music stars are paying homage to the fads of the past often in music video form. This nostalgia driven early 2000’s meme-a-thon is spearheaded by the ultra popular Taylor Swift. Who used this callback trend as a way to spoof music trends of the past, herself, and her detractors.
However some parents are getting concerned, one fad has come back with a dramatic, and perhaps life threatening twist. Mark Althaven Andrews better known by “Sisqo” burst onto the music scene in 1999 with his smash hit “Thong Song”. The song tore through the summer chart and quickly became a rallying cry for all those getting dangerously drunk on spring break, for those partying down with some shots on campus, and for those those just looking to make cleaning up the apartment a bit more bearable.
The song is now in the cross hairs of this new obsession with nostalgia, and the reason why has parents terrified and worried. The song contains a lyrics that has become the basis for this new and possibly fatal obsession. “Dumps like a truck”. Seems like a harmless line, referring in some strange vague way to the anatomy of a womans behind being good or desirable. In a sick nostalgic twist its dark power has been revealed by angry parents around the country. Parents who are worried sick about their daughters, and yes, even sons, who have undergone a new surgery inspired by the line.
“Getting dump trucked” – That’s what they call it, and so far it has counted for the deaths for at least 5 teens, who emulated popular stars like Salena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and Lance Bass who have recently undergone the dangerous operation. Dr. Rumphrey of the houston Medical Alliance is considered the pioneer of this controversial procedure, and when contacted by our offices, defended the practice. “If young celebrities want to pay me to surgically attach working miniature dump trucks to their asses, I would be a fool not too.”
Many others have criticized the practice of sewing working machinery onto a human body including Sir Richard Haas of the oxford community of surgical ass enhancement enthusiasts. Who referred to the practice as “A perverted bastardization of all that this society stands for. Surgical cheek implants should always be regulated to works of great art, stone, wood, flesh, and of course animal fur. Anything else is bound cause problems.”
While the debate on whether this new form of human modification rages, one thing is clear; Teens are flocking to black market surgeons in an effort to emulate their favorite starlets. In new study by the institute of rectal services released just last week, we learned the death toll among teens is already at 5 and rising, with many more injured. The most common injury is getting so low on the dance floor the gear gets stuck in forward and you are unable to stand as your bottom takes you on a wild and dangerous ride.