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Donald Trump builds wall- Mexico ecstatic and willingly pays

January 21st 2017- Washington DC On just his first day of office, President Donald Trump has completed his hallmark wall separating the United States and Mexico. Much to the surprise of physicists and experts in engineering, the wall sprang up overnight and was gleefully erected and paid for by the entire Mexican population. “We don’t know how it got there…it just popped up from the ground overnight” said o ...

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Pokemon Go secretly training child army “to be the very best”

In a day an age when the only outdoor time children have is waddling their roly poly bodies to the car for a trip to the video game store, anything that gets them up and moving must be a great thing, right?  Not according to Niantic insider Watashi Yamashi.  "It's all been kept very hush hush  outside the company, but it's well known that our ultimate goal is to train tech savvy super soldiers.  Most countr ...

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Trump Goes Back to School

In the ongoing US Presidential Elections, the Republican Party candidate Donald Trump has led another blow on the Democratic Party candidate Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. Donald on Friday took the plunge by returning back to his graduate school. Though he was back to his school for his Presidential Election political campaign, he attended few classes with other graduate students. He got nostalgic ...

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Toddlers Arrested For “Disturbing the Peace”

Chicagoans can rest safely tonight, knowing the police have control once again of our great city. Two toddlers were arrested at Helping Hands Daycare earlier today, police say they were "agressive, shouting, trying to hit the police with plastic bats, throwing sippy cups, etc." Police Chief Jason Roberts says they were able to contain the toddlers, but not without sending out the department's SWAT team. Mot ...

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Ronald Koeman shortlisted for manager of the year award

Ronald Koeman is the surprise nomination on the shortlist for a EPL manager of the year award. Koeman, along with Jose Mourinho, Antonio Conte and Pep Guardiola were the nominations released this lunchtime. Koeman has been praised for his man management skills, his ability in the transfer market and his ability to motivate young millionaires in his team. One of the judges declared, "Put Koeman on the list!. ...

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Syrian president Bashar al Assad caught hacking into White House

The Syrian dictator/president was caught hacking into the White House yesterday in what the state department is calling a serious breach of national security.  It is thought that he was looking for information that would lead to future plans for the Americans in Syria.  In a press release, Mr. Assad stated that he paid "several Russian teenagers" to perform the hack which occurred at approximately 13:41 pm ...

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France is to host the worlds strangest competition.

France is to host the worlds first beard growing competition.  In Marseille later this year (April 29th) hundreds of clean shaven, eager beard growers will convene..  This bizarre contest doesn't actually measure the length of beards that are already grown, but rather it will measure the speed at which competitors can grow a beard! Not exactly the most action packed event. One eager fan commented "It's actu ...

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House Hunters demos a marriage.

They were newly weds in love until they had to find a house,  then it I all went bad. He wanted a craftsman, two story, move in ready with no carpet. She wanted a single story fixer ranch with carpet in the bedrooms and a master suite with a tub. Just a few projects nothing major. House number 1 was a fixer, a 70's bathroom, vinyl flooring, shower only. You could see anger in his face when she said over and ...

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Outrage among US parents over new “rear-end” fad.

2017 is the year of the call back and all the A list music stars are paying homage to the fads of the past often in music video form. This nostalgia driven early 2000’s meme-a-thon is spearheaded by the ultra popular Taylor Swift. Who used this callback trend as a way to spoof music trends of the past, herself, and her detractors. However some parents are getting concerned, one fad has come back with a dram ...

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Are Hillary’s Changing Hairstyles Covering Horn-like Growths?

A former aide, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive subject matter and a very strong non-disclosure agreement with the Hillary for President campaign, tells CNN he has twice witnessed aides frantically changing Hillary's hairstyle immediately before a stump speech. He overheard an aide saying, "we have to find a way to cover them". Three other campaign staffers stood nearby. One was o ...

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