The country was plunged into turmoil earlier this year with the announcement that Target stores will begin to allow people to use the restroom of the gender that they most identify with. Never before has where a person chooses to take a dump become such a hot button issue. One thing that this policy pointed out is that apparently there are many Americans who believe that public bathrooms are a very sexual place.
Social media was in an uproar for months about this “tranny bathroom” situation being the beginning of the end of human civilization. As it turns out, these fervent supporters of traditional bathrooms may have been right along.
In what has clearly been a plot by the LGBTQIALMNOP community, the foundations of society have started to crack. People no longer feel safe going to the bathroom in public, which has caused many people to spontaneously defecate in their pants while shopping. Clean up on Aisle 5 has taken on a whole new meaning.
According to one shopper, Louise Betancourt, she had her very own experience with a transgender person using the restroom with her. “Well, the stall door was closed so I couldn’t be sure. I tried climbing over the stall to get a look, but the person kept yelling at me to get down. I explained that I was only trying to make sure there wasn’t a pervert in the bathroom, but the person kept throwing things at me to get down. But it was clearly one of those transgenders. I mean the smell alone. No real woman could make a stink that bad just from taking a dump.”
With the barriers of human society already weak, what with the gays being allowed to get married, it seems that this bathroom debacle might be the final straw. If you ask some, this problem goes far past the gays, believing the downfall of society really began when women were allowed out of the kitchen. “If women would just stay at home and stop acting like men the way God intended, then these homosexuals wouldn’t get the idea to act like ladies,” said a gentlemen whose name we didn’t catch over the sound of his old pick-up truck.
One thing is clear. We, as a society, should have listened to the viral video of the rotund woman screaming in the middle of Target while waving a Bible with her seventy five children in tow. We are clearly facing the end times and it comes in the rainbow flavors.