You Are Here: Home » 2016 » August

Trump performs suspected ‘Satanic Ritual’ for last minute edge in Presidential Election

The nation was shocked and awed today as presidential front runner Donald Trump appeared in a leaked video and ripped the still-beating heart out of a small child. The act, whispered by many to be a sacrifice to the dark lords of American Politics, had been foretold by many on the Trump campaign staff for some time previously. "The signs were all there," said Joseph Mcmatton, Trump's VP of dark arts and vot ...

Read more

Clinton To Possibly Assist Top Companies In Email Security

Top companies throughout the United States and Europe have offered to take Hilary Clinton on as a consultant for email and internet security for their firms. Pending the outcome of this year’s election, Clinton may have her choice of lucrative assignments if she does not become the leader of the free world. Hillary Clinton's new company "Paperless Securities" has received attention after the latest email sc ...

Read more

BILL COSBY TO APPEAR IN VIAGRA ADVERTISEMENTS

  *BILL COSBY TO APPEAR IN VIAGRA ADVERTISEMENTS* Last week 79 year old bill Cosby signed a 7 million dollar endorsement deal with *Pfizer*, the makers of the male sexual enhancement drug *Viagra, to promote the famous ‘blue pill” anti-impotence product in new television and print advertisements. In a raucous press conference, attended by representatives of many women’s groups, company spoke persons sa ...

Read more

Putin offers gift USA $5 Billion for ‘cage match’ between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton for presidential election.

In a recent press conference, President Putin offered $5 Billion USD to host a Russian style "Cage Match" between Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. The offer is a huge insult to American politics to show the mockery of the existing presidential campaigns from both candidates. Many people have concluded that the American political process is broken and Putin's offer is a 'solution' t ...

Read more

Donald Trump adopts Hispanic boy to climb to electoral Popularity.

In another seemingly desperate move to bounce back in the presidential election polls, Donald Trump made a shocking decision to adopt a child that he claims is "Hispanic."  He gave a press conference today at 9:30am while on his campaign trail.  Upon his announcement of the adoption he proudly held up the boy to the microphone and said his famous line "I love Hispanics." The boy was shy but Donald insisted ...

Read more

The end of paper money is tomorrow – Banks will only trade in Bitcoin from the 1st of September 2016

The end of paper money is tomorrow - Banks will only trade in Bitcoin from the 1st of September 2016. One can only imagine the chaos such a move would make. To think that after all these thousands of years with using real money, our lives have been reduced to virtual currency. That kind of decision would be illogical and downright irresponsible. To go full throttle on this would not be taking into considera ...

Read more

NASA APOLOGIZES FOR FAKING THE MOON LANDING

NASA APOLOGIZES FOR FAKING THE MOON LANDING NASA confirmed what had generally been thought to be a wild conspiracy with little basis in fact: That the July 20, 1969 moon landing of Apollo 11 astronauts was faked. After starting with a brief but ambiguous "We're sorry" tweet on the official @NASA Twitter account, the following shocking facts were revealed via NASA's group LinkedIn blog: The surface of the mo ...

Read more

Forget chemtrails, toilet paper is what they use to control us

Since the early 1970s, a vocal minority across the world has clamored about the dangers of "chemtrails", or the visible trail left behind jets in transit. This vocal minority banded together in 1978 to form a group known as the Society of Enlightened Citizens of the World Fighting Illuminati Overlords (SECWFIO).  SECWFIO garnered support through the years, spreading their enlightenment and fighting the use ...

Read more

Mel Gibson revealed as Trump supporter. Surprised?

Today, Mel Gibson makes headline news again with his newest controversy - he has declared himself a 'die hard Trump supporter. When Donald Trump seems to be plummeting in the polls, Gibson was compelled to swoop in as the shining knight showing his old William Wallace ways to save the falling real estate investor. Gibson declares, "It will be found out anyway that I have donated $50,000 to Mr. Trump's campa ...

Read more

© 2016 Leaky News

Scroll to top